Stumble-Through...

Yesterday I got to find out just how long and excruciating our production of Faust is, because we did our first run-through (or stumble-through) of the show, two intermissions included.  At this performance were a group of senior citizens who were bussed in to watch an opera with no costumes, no supertitles and no sets.  At one point, the elderly man sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked "how long is this opera?"

Things I was tempted to say:

"Longer than you've got buddy.  I hope your will is up-to-date, because you are NEVER getting out of here"

Or perhaps: "Dude, it is going to take FOREVER!  Let's sneak off to McDonald's for Diet Cokes. I'll even buy you one of their cherry pies."

Or my favorite: "Abandon hope, all ye who sit upon these hard, metal folding chairs."

Instead I told him it was kind of long and asked if he needed directions to the restroom.

When did I get so dull?