Leaving modesty at the door...

Yesterday I had a costume fitting and was instructed to show up wearing a sports bra and "appropriate underwear."  Which meant that the edible undies I usually frolic around with were a no go...which is a damn shame.  So I showed up at my costume fitting on time (such a good little singer!) and was instantly surrounded by five costume interns and the Grand Dame costume designer.  While I barely said two words to the woman last year, she seems to remember me quite well and told her interns that I was "funny" and should be "humored."  Uh, okay, thanks...I think.  

And knowing the drill like I do, I took off my T-Shirt and proceeded to get twenty petticoats thrown over my head.  And those twenty petticoats are sure to feel delightful in July...under the hot lights...in a barely air conditioned theater.  And then the Grande Dame announced "all right, off with the bra!"

Uhhhh.....excuse me?  

The interns all eyed me expectedly.

Uhhhh...you mean in front of six people I don't know?

Look, I don't consider myself much of a prude, as I have spent a majority of my life in community dressing rooms.  And nearly everyone has some kind of problem area, so there is no need to feel self-conscious.  And for those of you who don't have problem areas, please feel free to kiss my flabby white ass.  At the same time, exposing my breasts to six women (five of whom I don't know) didn't seem like an ideal situation.  They didn't even buy me dinner first!

"We are going to need that bra off" boomed the Grande Dame.

So I steeled myself as best I could, threw off my sports bra and practically dove into the corset they were holding up for me.  I am only hoping they saw a blur of translucent skin, and no details, before I made it into my top.  And then they all proceeded to stick their hands down the front of the corset and arrange my breasts into a more pleasing formation, all the while declaring that I would need makeup to create proper cleavage.  Actually, I need puberty to hit above the navel soon ladies, but thanks for the suggestion.  And thanks also for shoving your hands down between my nipples...I think this was the most action I have seen in a while.

Once the fitting was over, I dove back into my bra and got out of there so fast I nearly knocked over some poor soprano who was walking in for her fitting.  I had just enough time to whisper "save yourself and your dignity by running before they see you" as I passed her.

I hope she heeded my advice.